Cassiopeia's Faith

I know a lot of cassies feel almost lost their hope now..

I'm listening BoA - Be With You. I know this song after watch 10 promises to my dog movie. It's really a good movie about promise a girl make to her dog. I can't stop crying since the movie started until the end, and also because I miss my dogs so much and think about some of my dogs that has died. T.T

Everytime I hear that song, I'm gonna cry. This evening, I feel so hopeless like i told above, after saw their pictures in Japan that looked so awkward and like they're ENEMY now. Changmin doesn't usually stand far from jae and closer with yunnie? he usually loves to play with jae and stay closer with him.
So... If this continue like this, it will make cassiopeia hurt and also them.

I know this is stupid when I still want to keeping our FAITH, when almost all cassiopeias have already got over it and just ready to hear their' DISBANDED. So, I don't know my feeling yet now. It seems that I'm so egoist? I want make them happy,so if it's really their decision, I will just approve it. But, deepest inside in my heart, I don't want to approve that.

I just cannot let my dream just go away because I haven't fulfilled it yet like my other friends. I haven't meet them in REAL, watching them singing, dancing, and adoring them without even in a blink when they're singing, screaming their name, and crying because I will see them to make my wish come true. I don't know who else I will blame to? my father? of course nope...
It's my mistake. Why I never try harder to see them until their last...??
There are a lot of good memories about TVXQ and ME. I know it's just about a usual fangirling, but it's different for me. They changed, taught, cheered, and be with me if I feel so depressed. Their song, video, act, and others who always accompany me since I know them when even my best friends and my parents can't make it.

Back agai, "Be with u" by boa, I keep listening to that now. I love the lyrics that tell about the promises and we have to count every moment we're together. I already do that to them as if they're really there in my life. Most of the time I hear their song, I always remember when, where, and what time I was doing when I knew that song for the first time or when I did something really precious.
Like you're beautiful, Trick, all that song in TRICK album, when I was still be together with my friends still very active in TI, making and reading our FF together, gathering and talking about TVXQ for sure.
About the sad time, there's also like miduhyo when my friend comma and passed away in 2 weeks, tho she's not a close friend, but she's a good friend.

I still want to talk a lot about it, but I just try not to tell all about, because I don't want have puffy eyes of crying a lot. I just want to still hoping when i can, but I will not force them to not disband. I just pray to god to make the best choice.
T_____T have to ready to say goodbye?should I?

try ti think of them now when listening to be with u song by boa.. I'm sure u will have a good time and express all ur feelings out, and don't forget to read know the lyrics before, so u can understand, not tvxq song!
tvxq's song just will make us..... yea u know it.. ;_;